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biffy_sunshine

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puttin' the crack back in crackhead [Dec. 13th, 2004|03:00 pm]
biffy_sunshine
[Current Mood |a little stuffed up]
[Current Music |elliott smith- figure 8]

man oh man- i finally have this computer back up and running. i think it's been close to two months since i've even checked my email and who knew that i had 266 unread emails in my bulk inbox. i guess the advertisements are there to love you even when no one else will. work has been the same plus a few more crackheads here and there. i don't find out about the pharmacy tech certification until some time in january. i went to dallas last weekend and had an appointment with dr. raphael for my chest reconstruction. ok- that's done; now i have to figure out a way to pay for it. i think first thing is first though- i must call and get declined from capital one, and then i will definately feel better about things. lillith is all curled up down by my feet being a cutehead. she plays fetch, which is one of the coolest things in the whole world. i will go over to nick's later and hopefully we can drink some coffee b/c i feel like i'm going to need it b/c my sleep schedule is FUCKED in the head. nick came with me to allie's parents' house for thanksgiving and i was so grateful that he got to experience some of the crazy that is her family. her grandmother was there and she is such a sweethead and her mom is sweet as well- just understandably off in her own world these days. the night after thanksgiving nick, allie, and i met some other people at south beach for allie's birthday and nick and i had been drinking all night so i had to throw up a few times there, which was gross, but somehow not as gross as throwing up at the ten. hmmmm... i felt like i needed some air that wasn't being shared by hot, sweaty dancing queens, so nick and i went outside and some big crazy lesbian woke up out of her drunkenness and asked us if nick and i were going to have sex, and we had to drunkenly explain to her why that wasn't going to happen. she was confused. we were confused. i had to puke a few more times. allie's birthday was nov. 28, which was the sunday after that and i reserved a room at a hotel which (thank god) was not the ramada, and i had all of these candles that i had gotten from bath and body which i knew were some of her favorite scents and some with pretty candle holders, and i set it up. it was very nice. the next day we went to breakfast and then bookie legosi got all three of us into the new bridgette jones movie for free b/c allie really wanted to see it. then i had promised her that i would play her some music on the ole' sexophone, so bookie, allie, and i came back here and did just that. then we ran around in hermann park and took pictures. then i took her to buca di beppo where i gave her our tickets to the opera ("the little prince"), which is for this coming weekend.

that's that. now. i have some teevee to watch. smell ya later.
Link2 bullets to the head|gunshy?

the pre-work update workout [Sep. 28th, 2004|07:33 pm]
biffy_sunshine
[Current Mood |awakeawake]
[Current Music |radiohead]

unfortunately, i have to return to work in about half an hour, so this will be quick, i guess. last weekend (not this last weekend but last last weekend) i went to austin for the austin city limits music festival, and it was AWESOME (in parts). it was 3 straight days of being outside in 90 degree weather, but i did get to see the roots, solomon burke, ryan adams, the pixies, elvis costello, cake, dashboard confessional, and some more that i really maybe don't want to remember. i can't go too much into any of it b/c i have about 5 minutes, but all in all it was a fun time. this last friday ft. bend county court was closed due to the county fair. why? i'm not sure, but i am sure that my shit has to sit there until at least this friday. that's how it goes. america's next top model is BACK in full FXXXX though, and it's on tomorrow again!!! i adopted a kitten, but she is being spayed this week, so she can't move in until this weekend. i'm very excited though b/c she's so little and cute and black and shy. that's it for now. oh yeah- i saw "a dirty shame"- the new john waters movie at the movies for free a few nights ago and it was a laugh-fest. anyway- that's all for now.
Link2 bullets to the head|gunshy?

the update [Aug. 30th, 2004|03:49 pm]
biffy_sunshine
[Current Mood |calmcalm]
[Current Music |the smiths]

okay- i went to court on friday and filed my case to be heard on this coming friday. i didn't know that you had to be there before 9 am to file your case, but now i know, and now i don't have to go at 9- i just have to be there at 1:30. i hope i don't have to press that shirt again b/c that would make me upset. should i take it out of the backseat of my car? probably.

anyway- i shaved my head today. i had a serious jew-fro situation animal disability on my head, and it asked me nicely to remove it. then it got mean and then rabid. it had to be taken care of.

also- why do people drive vehicles called Toyota Tundras in texas? is there a tundra here that i am unaware of? in houston? hmmmm...

the 23rd was my 6 month mark on the ole' T, and allie came to work that morning and she said that she had a surprise for me, but she was on her way to work and i was busy, so i didn't open it up until i got home. she gave me a tie and a card that basically said that she was really happy to be with me. it made me really happy. she's a sweetie.

okay- i watched "godsend" the other day, which is this movie that nick, sarah, and i kept seeing previews for on every single Lionsgate movie that we watched. finally, it's out on video. it was okay, but the ending really sucked, and i don't see what the big deal is about rebecca romajn(-stamos) is. she's kind of a shitty actress and she looks weird. i mean- come on now- she doesn't look nearly as weird as Nipples Watts's nipples, but who does? who does?

that's all for now.
Link6 bullets to the head|gunshy?

some of my favorite things [Aug. 15th, 2004|12:39 pm]
biffy_sunshine
[Current Mood |amusedamused]
[Current Music |radiohead]

i addressed my last entry to friends and stalkers, and i was half kidding about the stalkers. however, it turns out that they do exist,

and get this:

i am holier than thou regardless of how many times i misuse the english language.

buahahahahahahahaahahhahaahahhahaahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

try me, kids. i promise that i'm smarter (than most). oh- that's right. you did try. is that what you called it? try? i really hope so because maybe i thought my stalkers were simply retarded, but they aren't. at least the retarded don't "try" to outwit people that they know they can't.
Linkgunshy?

blood roses for dinner, kids [Aug. 13th, 2004|04:17 pm]
biffy_sunshine
[Current Mood |bitchybitchy]
[Current Music |tori amos- boys for pele]

so the work update goes something like this (kick it old school, hurricane!):

the new girl says to me, "i didn't know you were getting a sex change." then she proceeds to tell me not to be mad when i didn't understand what the hell she was talking about and i wanted to know where it had come from. she also told me that it doesn't matter what people think of me. really? you know the funny thing is i hadn't come to that conclusion in my life yet. thank you so much, white trash girl. i'll make sure that next time i need a life lesson on how to make southern-roasted grape jelly i will definately come to you. little fuck.

i went and had a blood test yesterday. they got me mixed up with someone else and i think they took too much blood and when i saw how much blood they took i definately proceeded to pass out. i'm cool like that. so i took my woozy ass down the street to walgreens afterwards because i needed some toothpaste, and i had to talk to freaking joyce. another fucking stupid. anyway- i also got a sharps container (finally) and she asked me something crazy about re-using needles or something. i'm not sure...i was very foggy at that point and just wanted to go home. anyway- i was like- no i don't re-use needles. she was like- oh that's for your hormones. whatev- she's like- "now do the hormones take your titties away and grow you a dick?" no, actually after this i'm going down to the local bodyshop and getting that "sex change" we've all been talking about their. it's actually easy- you just go in and ask for the "glen of glenda special".

it's times like these that i wish i could call my mom and tell her what's going on with me and how it makes me feel. i know that's stupid, but that's how i feel and where my instincts take me. i remember 6 years ago when suellen's roommate's mom outted both of us to the entire butler music school faculty. i didn't care that much, but suellen was of course freaking out b/c she was in the closet. anyway- my mom somehow weaseled out of me what had been going on, and she was like- well this is the life that you chose you know, and this is what happens. (i actually just rolled my eyes) so big d calls and leaves me these freakish messages last night right before i went to bed, which i decided could wait until i woke up to deal with. she always asks how things are going, and i'm always like- ok. whatever. what the hell does she want me to say??? "oh- things are a little messy at the moment, MOM, people at work keep asking me if i'm going to get a sex change and i don't even have a good answer for them. they treat me as if i'm an animal in a cage and they just keep rattling my fucking bars. i'm ready to scream at them. i'm glad you asked b/c i've been meaning to talk to you about my feelings, you know." MOM, "well, what do you expect? of course people are confused. i tried to warn you not to do this, but you never listen to me. by the way, have you paid your phone bill..."

why am i being so bitter?

why am i repeatedly asking rhetorical questions to which i know the answers?

blah
Link1 bullets to the head|gunshy?

what i really need is some coffee... [Aug. 12th, 2004|05:04 am]
biffy_sunshine
[Current Mood |amusedamused]
[Current Music |sarah's soul and r&b mix]

alright- an update for my dearest friends and personal stalkers...first i just want to say two quick and important things:

"13 going on 30" was so fucking cute and jennifer garner is totally my girlfriend for super-happy days. mark ruffulo (sp?) may have sharky teefs but he's the cute.

"starsky and hutch" rock the haus (that's german rockin' for 'house' sans the oomlau (sp????)). it's been really hard to watch juliette lewis in anything and see her as being anything other than retarded since "the other sister". poor girl is the new type-cast retard for the rest of her years.

more entertainment news- diana degarmo fell off a stage during the idol tour in some city- i don't know or give a fuck where. my question is this: was she doing that obnoxious laugh on her way overboard?

jamie foxx is going to play ray charles in a biopic of ray charles coming out later this year.

i will write more about the crazy sex change conversations later when i'm feeling it. i really have to prime myself for dealing with the ghetto dentist receptionist attitude and finding those damned pay stubs.
Linkgunshy?

this is not a real update [Aug. 10th, 2004|07:31 am]
biffy_sunshine
[Current Mood |exhaustedexhausted]
[Current Music |i think i'm snoring]

i have a lot to say but i have to sleepipoo right away.

last night started out with some recently-hired girl saying (as i'm walking in the door to clock in), "i didn't know that you were going to have a sex change?"

i didn't either.

more on all of it later.
Link5 bullets to the head|gunshy?

The Replacements (not the band) [Aug. 3rd, 2004|04:38 am]
biffy_sunshine
[Current Mood |chipperchipper]

ok- i have taken the honor (betowed upon by myself) to replace jesse. if you are or know any of these people, please get them in contact with me ASAP except for Morrissey- i don't want to talk to him or hear him speak anymore than i have to these days.

anyway-

#1 Morrissey- another one-named, retarded, socially-inept faglet that should have been booted from society when he refused to give marr the reach-around that he of all people deserved.

#2 Dubya- hopefully he will be back in Texas soon and will be in need of a job. he's perfect to fill the spot of a slow blood-thirsty warmonger who chuckles constantly for no appearant reason.

#3 Madonna- as a catholic-born jewish mystic with a british accent from detroit, i feel that she would fit in perfectly with our already ridiculous work crew.

#4 Saddam Hussein- refer back to #2 for details.

#5 Courtney Love and Francis Bean- it could be the reunion tour of the CENTURY, and Love just may be trashy enough to divert mr. mcCollum's gross eyes from MY girlfriend for like 2 minutes.
Linkgunshy?

jesse and his insane clown possee have officially gotten the Texas bootipoos [Aug. 3rd, 2004|12:04 am]
biffy_sunshine
[Current Mood |gloomygloomy]
[Current Music |belle and sebastian]

for those of you out there who are in the dark about the goings-on of jesse and his shenantics, here is a brief run-down in numerical form:

#1 jesse was hired when i was in the middle of february. we all thought he was in his 20's.

#2 turns out he's 40 this year- stupid cancers - all of them.

#3 he is slow (very, almost retardedly slow) but is not handicapped. in fact he is so slow that he can't really manage to run a register properly. he told me that i must have been working at walgreens for quite some time due to register expertise and dexterity.

#4 we find out that he was fired from J.R.'s (local gay club) where he served as a bus boy because he held his manager up with a knife one night.

#5 jesse is sick a lot and has had bouts of mysterious illnesses since he was a child according to him. he starts drinking nyquil and dayquil on a regular basis at work.

#5 Patrick, one of the pharmacists, enters the men's restroom one night to peepee and finds jesse standing towards the urinal- pants and underwear down around his ankles- just staring and holding his stuff with a feather duster sticking out of his butt. jesse fails to acknowledge Patrick's presence in the restroom but does manage to squirt out a fart while Patrick washes his hands.

#6 see #5 but replace Patrick's name and occupation with Ross, a coworker. no fart that i can remember.

#7 walgreens takes quick and direct action by granting jesse with his feather duster as no one wants to use it after that. however, we are not actually allowed to discuss any of the "butt duster scenario" with anyone other than 3rd shift, so it is possible that 1st and 2nd shift are using the alleged butt duster. they don't know that where it's been.

#8 there are many, many idol threats of firing jesse because he can't seem to his work done in the 10 hours that he is allotted.

#9 jesse has to ask mr. mcCollum to use the restroom because he's been in there quite a bit recently washing his hands for 20 minutes at a time among other "dusting" activities.

#10 in the last month and a half, jesse starts telling some coworkers and the security guards that he has to shop at walgreens on his nights off (almost every night since he's been hired) because if he didn't he would just sleep all day and there's no point in being alive if all you are going to do is sleep all day. he might as well just kill himself like his mother and sister.

#11 mr. mcCollum has to reprimand jesse for the last time about going up to "cute boys" and hugging them from behind because it scares them and they don't know who jesse is.

#12 one night while shopping at walgreens on a night off (well spent, i might add), jesse tells mr. mcCollum and I that he is a prophet and he was put on this earth to kill innocent people and himself. mr. mcCollum told him not to say things like that because walgreens could fire him and jesse argued that this was what he was put here to do and that's that. side note- this conversation started because mr. mcCollum asked what the bulge was in jesse's pocket and jesse said it was protection. (it was a toy gun). mr. mcCollum pointed out that someone might call the police if he were to start lecturing people on his prophecies as he was doing at the moment, and jesse replied that the police were already privy to this information because when he got fired from J.R.'s jesse told the police all about his meaning in life.

#13 jesse tells us one last scary piece of information. aparently it was the anniversery of some shoot out situation involving a strange and violent man and a mcDonalds. jesse is proud of this and has saved the newspaper clippings, laminated, and hung them framed on his wall. he also has the new story of the event on video tape. jesse says that when he gets a real gun he is going to go to a mcDonalds and blow it away.

#14 almost 2 weeks later jesse is fired for not getting his work done on time- again.


that's the story of jesse and how we are all going to die very soon because i'm positive that no one called the police and clued them in that walgreens was firing a man who has promised that he is going to blow away innocent people.

my only hope is that this happens on my night off.
Link1 bullets to the head|gunshy?

they don't call me the steppenwolf for nothing, kids [Aug. 2nd, 2004|02:08 pm]
biffy_sunshine
[Current Mood |exhaustedexhausted]

The Lone Wolf
Category V - The Lone
Wolf


Though you'd be welcome in most groups, you prefer
a more solitary path.


What Type of Social Entity are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Link1 bullets to the head|gunshy?

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