|blood roses for dinner, kids
||[Aug. 13th, 2004|04:17 pm]
|||||tori amos- boys for pele||]|
so the work update goes something like this (kick it old school, hurricane!):
the new girl says to me, "i didn't know you were getting a sex change." then she proceeds to tell me not to be mad when i didn't understand what the hell she was talking about and i wanted to know where it had come from. she also told me that it doesn't matter what people think of me. really? you know the funny thing is i hadn't come to that conclusion in my life yet. thank you so much, white trash girl. i'll make sure that next time i need a life lesson on how to make southern-roasted grape jelly i will definately come to you. little fuck.
i went and had a blood test yesterday. they got me mixed up with someone else and i think they took too much blood and when i saw how much blood they took i definately proceeded to pass out. i'm cool like that. so i took my woozy ass down the street to walgreens afterwards because i needed some toothpaste, and i had to talk to freaking joyce. another fucking stupid. anyway- i also got a sharps container (finally) and she asked me something crazy about re-using needles or something. i'm not sure...i was very foggy at that point and just wanted to go home. anyway- i was like- no i don't re-use needles. she was like- oh that's for your hormones. whatev- she's like- "now do the hormones take your titties away and grow you a dick?" no, actually after this i'm going down to the local bodyshop and getting that "sex change" we've all been talking about their. it's actually easy- you just go in and ask for the "glen of glenda special".
it's times like these that i wish i could call my mom and tell her what's going on with me and how it makes me feel. i know that's stupid, but that's how i feel and where my instincts take me. i remember 6 years ago when suellen's roommate's mom outted both of us to the entire butler music school faculty. i didn't care that much, but suellen was of course freaking out b/c she was in the closet. anyway- my mom somehow weaseled out of me what had been going on, and she was like- well this is the life that you chose you know, and this is what happens. (i actually just rolled my eyes) so big d calls and leaves me these freakish messages last night right before i went to bed, which i decided could wait until i woke up to deal with. she always asks how things are going, and i'm always like- ok. whatever. what the hell does she want me to say??? "oh- things are a little messy at the moment, MOM, people at work keep asking me if i'm going to get a sex change and i don't even have a good answer for them. they treat me as if i'm an animal in a cage and they just keep rattling my fucking bars. i'm ready to scream at them. i'm glad you asked b/c i've been meaning to talk to you about my feelings, you know." MOM, "well, what do you expect? of course people are confused. i tried to warn you not to do this, but you never listen to me. by the way, have you paid your phone bill..."
why am i being so bitter?
why am i repeatedly asking rhetorical questions to which i know the answers?